Rising to the who?
I'm moving again. Back to my regular nursing home - the one I had to leave for renovations six months ago, as my noise and chemical sensitivities would've made me a lot sicker if I'd stayed.
It's been a nice stay here in a wee respite room, in a nice supportive home, on a quiet ward with many kind nurses and a lovely patch of green outside my door - that I could oogle on precious cloudy days. Trust me - grass becomes something to oogle after years of no grass.
There was a woman with ME here before me, who passed away, from an unrelated illness just after I arrived. I hadn't known she was sick like that, so I was sad to miss her, as she paved the way for me here. The closest we got was sharing an ambulance, she caught it up to hospital, I caught it down to the home.
The ambulance crew were completely mind-boggled by this weird disease they'd only just heard of and met twice in one day. I'd love to get the same crew back up.
It's been a good break though, I have made lots of gentle progress. While here, I started counselling sessions by skype with an ME counsellor, exercises by skype with an exercise physiologist (not GET) and have had weekly osteo sessions for a while now, which is helping sensory pain.
Then, there was even a student nurse who asked for my number.
Yes Internet, I'm bragging - I've still got it!
(I won't tell you how dark it is in my room or that the same student hit on all the single nurses as well ...cast your net wide my friend).
And now, as I get my last bits and bobs ready for the ambulance ride back, I'm trying not to worry or be nervous.
My body gives me away though, my spine pain and nerves have ratcheted up a little - so this afternoon, I have some serious relaxation techniques in mind to practice.
I know tomorrow's ambulance ride will hurt, and that this extra little bit of pain that's happening now in anticipation, is just my body rising to the occasion - and that according to my ME counsellor - is okay.
She tells me, not all stress is bad, and that there was a study that showed, those who believe their stress is good, eg exciting or energising and useful, have better health outcomes than those who always view stress as negative and, well - stressful.
Even with all the usual ME caveats - I find that, somehow, this helps.
It's one of those tricky mind squiggles - if I believe my stress symptoms are ok or even good - then they becomes less stressful - which is helpful- but this only works if I'm not aiming for less stress...so I need to welcome and feel the stress as it is...just be....and all that.
Slippery little mind sucker!
I think I'll try some distraction therapy too.
Maybe write a blog about it -