* I've changed the blog address from www.sarahsworld.me back to the original (badly chosen, but I'm stuck with it) address of www.kiwikchat.blogspot.com .

This means that some links to older posts and old links from other sites don't work. :(

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Six months on the couch...

Today I realised that, shock, horror, gasp, it’s been 6 months since I left work determined to get better and move back in with my parents.

Am I any better?  I don't think so, I certainly can't do more than what I could 6 months ago but I haven't had as many crashes.  I am basically no better or worse.  The glass is half full or half empty depending on my point of view and how I feel.  (some days I feel pretty thirsty!)

Living with symptoms:
I have however, learnt to pace properly, (really got the hang of it this last month) and while I can’t do more than I could 6 months ago, by doing less I have kept most of the nastier symptoms at bay (yes, goodbye to you vertigo, severe nausea, weird heavy/toxic body etc!) which leaves moderate nausea, fatigue and lymph node/throat pains, which are all things I can deal with. 

True Friends:
Another lovely development during this time has been the slow settling into old friendships.   I’ve been away a lot over the years and coming home sick was not easy, I thought ‘Who would want to see me? I’m no fun!’.   Turns out there are some very special people who do still like catching up.  J  I can’t see my friends often but when I do I really cherish and appreciate them.  You do learn the true value of people when your world collapses. (okay so not the Whole world, just My body). 

Help from Unexpected sources:
It blows me away when people I haven’t even met before offer their help.  One friend of a friend sent me a homemade yoga dvd she had done with me/cfs in mind and there are another few ladies who come once a week to practice alternative medicine on me.  (which is so relaxing, I almost always fall into a coma after they leave). 

I wonder if the healthy version of me would ever have been so helpful to someone I hadn't met. 

Also the local uni is doing research on severely affected me/cfs sufferers and visiting 'us' at home to take blood samples and do a survey.  I love knowing that there is a team of people nearby who are working on understanding this disease, I imagine them in white coats peering down microscopes and counting 'wrigglers'.  

So on the whole I am feeling loved and looked after which is a really nice place to be.  Thinking about the people who care about me and who I care about really helps in darker moments.

It’s a pretty bad day today, symptom wise, and I am finding that reading or tv (or blogging :/ ) makes me feel worse so I think I’ll head outside, lay in the sun and listen to an audio book. 

I might be too ill to go anywhere or do anything, but by the end of winter I will have a killer tan!

Here's to the next six months... and learning to be happy with what I have each day.


  1. Six months....I'm somewhere around there too :) Lets not get too used to it. okay?



  2. HI Sipora,

    I agree, I'm worried about leaving an imprint on the couch! :)

    Thanks for your comment

    xx K

  3. Such a wonderful post. It's such a hard adjustment when life changes so drastically. I still struggle with that after about 4 years off work. Focusing on the positives and the things that I've learnt that I wouldn't have learnt if I'd remained healthy and naive, has helped me enormously. It's really the only helpful thing to do when our bodies take so much of our control. Well done, you!! x

  4. Hi Hayley,
    Thanks for your comment, it is bloody hard staying positive and sometimes it works and sometimes I fail miserably but luckily every day is a new one.

    I enjoyed your recent post on fat damage, lovely positive spin on what must be a frustrating complication.

    Take care, :)