* I've changed the blog address from www.sarahsworld.me back to the original (badly chosen, but I'm stuck with it) address of www.kiwikchat.blogspot.com .

This means that some links to older posts and old links from other sites don't work. :(

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Midnight streaker.

Life is full of valuable lessons.  Here's one I learnt while working on boats.

At the time, Skipper Boyfriend and I were working on different boats which happened to be in the same port.  I would crash on his boat at night and return to mine for work in the morning.

One night I woke up terrified, somehow I knew, that the person next to me wasn't Skipper Boyfriend.

Fear, guilt and adrenalin raced through my body.

Who was it?  Was it a blood sucking vampire who had snuck in during the night? (if so was he cute?)  Was it a gross old man with lots of back and butt-hair?  What would Skipper Boyfriend say and where the hell was he?

I didn't want to wake up who or whatever was next to me, so I slowly and very quietly eased myself off bed and snuck out of the cabin.  I was silently panicking and desperately wanted to escape the boat as fast as possible.

But I needed something to wear.

It was summer and I'd fallen asleep in my birthday suit.

With my heart in my mouth, I tip-toed out past the other snoring crew members,  up to the fly bridge and to my goal, the clothes line.  I grabbed my bikini off the line and wiggled into it, ready to make my bid for freedom.

What I was planning to do after getting off the boat, I really don't know.

 As I reached over to pick up a towel, I happened to glance over at the neighbouring boat's back deck.

On this back deck there was a group of sunburned,  middle-aged men smoking and drinking.  They were at that bleary eyed, back slapping, tall stories part of the night.  Where everyone is talking loudly, someone is dribbling and no one is listening.

That's when I woke up.

I was sleep walking.

I'd done it before, but never to this extent.

Ducking down behind the helms-chair, I hid in the dark.

I stayed there motionless for a while, listening and waiting to return to my normal colour.   It didn't seem like I'd been spotted.  I then sort of commando crawled back to the flybridge ladder and slid downstairs, tip-toed back past the still snoring crew and to my cabin.

Once at the cabin, I was however, unable to completely shake off that feeling of intense unease.   Feeling silly and more than a little irrational, I snapped the light on and whipped the blanket off the bed.

No monsters, no vampires, no hairy old men with butt hair, just a very disgruntled and sleepy Skipper Boyfriend wondering what the hell I was doing waking him up at three o'clock in the morning.  And why was I dressed to go to the beach?

 It was a bit awkward.

Him: "what are you doing?"

Me: "Err, just checking that it's you and not someone else"

Him: "oh right...........            .... huh?"


***

So here's the valuable life lesson that no one ever thinks to mention:  if you are prone to sleep walking and you live in a boat or in shared accommodation, don't sleep naked, it won't end well.

2 comments:

  1. Funny story...
    I had my yorkie/pappion for about 8 months. One afternoon, the hubby came home for lunch. I had on a t-shirt, panties, and socks. I made the comment that I should put some pants on, but then told the hubby that since no one was going to see me, why put them on?

    So, he leaves to go back to work. And about 10 minutes later, I let the puppies out to pee. My y/p mix took off running to the highway to find my hubby.

    We live about 2,000 miles off of a 4 lane highway. I'm pantless screaming for my dog to come back. He crosses 2 lanes, a median, and then another 2 lanes. I'm now on the side of the highway, out of breath, no pants, and stickers pushed 3 inches into my feet.

    He comes back across the far 2 lanes, and then the median...but, as he hits the middle of the 2nd 2 lane section..he's stops to poop. A car passed him, and he starts to chase it.

    At this point, I'm fairly sure that the law has been called.

    He finally saw my maltese in the driveway, and ran up to him. They both took off back to the house. That was the day our house got 2 new rules.

    1. Pants are a must!
    and
    2. The dogs are only let out the back door when the hubby is not home.

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  2. Hi Monique, haha, some of lifes lessons are simple. In hindsight. :)

    ReplyDelete