* I've changed the blog address from www.sarahsworld.me back to the original (badly chosen, but I'm stuck with it) address of www.kiwikchat.blogspot.com .

This means that some links to older posts and old links from other sites don't work. :(

Friday, February 4, 2011

What's the opposite of a sea change?

I was hoping for a couple of months before leaving this beautiful boat which has been my home, workplace and shelter for the last few years.  However life has other plans for me.

My boyfriend has a family member who is very ill, and has been given weeks to live after an inspiring four year battle with cancer.  An absolutely, amazing, awe inspiring person who has remained positive and strong throughout.  It puts having me/cfs into perspective and I think me/cfs is tough. 

So my boyfriend has decided it's time to leave now, which I understand, but can't help feeling disappointed.   We had just made the plan to get the boat back to Europe, over the next few months. It would have been a lovely end, see friends, find new crew for the boat and say goodbye properly to guests who have been on and off over the years.

It's not my decision to make, as the weaker party I have to reconcile myself to this fact.  Previously I've been able to stay onboard and work for the both of us while my boyfriend travelled home to visit his family.    I am so frustrated that I can't hold it together for us this time.  It feels wrong to have sailed the boat half way around the world to Australia and leave it here when it really belongs in Europe and we had told our boss we would take it the whole way round.

Well that's life.  Out of control and unpredictable. 

Looking back I am grateful that I got to meet so many fabulous interesting people and travel to exotic places all while getting paid.  I am now good at sailing, cooking, entertaining and unblocking boat toilets.   Mostly though I just feel lucky to have worked for my boss, who has done so much above and beyond what I expected an employer to do.  No regrets.

Now looking forward, I need to get busy clearing years worth of my stuff off the boat...it definitely won't fit in the bag had when I joined overseas.  I have souvenirs from all over the world scattered in nooks and crannies. Not to mention a number of cookbooks, camera gear, clothes and even a wakeboard.  Yep, I have been accumulating.

Finally as I contemplate 'swallowing the anchor' and moving ashore I realise I am going to miss this yacht.  It's carried me through fun times and also a lot of scary times and I have to admit I have loved being onboard.

Signing out, maybe for the last time, from my dinky cabin.


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